


pages in boxes

by actuallyshua



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - College/University, Childhood Friends, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Summer Camp, study abroad, switching POV
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-16
Updated: 2019-09-16
Packaged: 2020-09-19 21:03:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,725
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20327830
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/actuallyshua/pseuds/actuallyshua
Summary: Kunhang held onto the past, maybe a little bit too much. But how could he not? When everything was so bright, so full of life. And his future was so uncertain, it just seemed easier to linger on the things that were set in stone.Or -Kunhang's past comes back to light.





	pages in boxes

**Author's Note:**

  * For [violetpeche](https://archiveofourown.org/users/violetpeche/gifts).

When Kunhang moved away to college, he left many things at home. His David Bowie poster that he glued to his wall, much to his mother's dismay, when he was ten. His impressive, but useless since the addition of Netflix in his life, DVD collection. The old books he used to read that lined his worn down bookshelf. 

But one thing he would never leave behind, no matter where he ended up, was a shoebox. It was nearing death at this point, the corners of the lid torn from being opened and closed so many times. It was stained from a spilled soda. But it was one of his most prized possessions. One that always gave him comfort when he needed it. 

It was sitting on his lap now as he was skimming one of the oldest letters that laid within it. 

From a time much simpler than now. When Yukhei still didn't know how to spell "necessary" and when his hand writing would be considered illegible to the masses, but Kunhang could always read his words with ease. Sure, now they had their phones and they would call each other every so often, but he'd never get rid of the letters.

They were full of memories, all good. Of summer camp, when he first met Yukhei. Kunhang was the new kid, joining a tightly woven camp where everyone seemed to know each other from birth. He was scared, immediately regretting letting go of his mother and letting her drive away, leaving him to fend for himself for three weeks. 

But he didn't really have too much time to wallow in his sadness. 

A bright eyed and toothy smiled boy sat down next to him in the mess hall, loudly introducing himself as Yukhei. Kunhang was never alone after that. They took each other like bees to honey, stuck like glue. Each day, Yukhei would wait for Kunhang outside of his cabin, excited to tackle the day together.

Tackling the day, when they were younger, meant arts and crafts and cooking and hikes with their group. As they grew older, it meant camping and canoeing and rock jumping. On their sixth camp year together, Yukhei made them woven bracelets. Yukhei's was yellow, orange, and red. Kunhang's was purple, blue, and green. 

It had broken off of his wrist twice since then, but he always retied it. Kunhang felt too strange without it. 

The door clicking open reeled him back to reality and he looked up to see his roommate, Dejun, walking in. 

"Hey, how was orientation?" Kunhang neatly folded up the letter, tucking it into place before closing the box and slipping it back under his bed. Dejun set his bag down with a huff, quickly walking over to his own bed and crashing onto it. 

"College is exhausting." 

Kunhang laughed at this, "So I take it that it went well."

Dejun had been Kunhang's roommate for the past two years, surely the only person sane enough to put up with Kunhang's occasional midnight phone call and the way he sang in the shower. 

"I really just wanted to tell all those hopeful freshman, with their wide eyes and perky smiles, that it's all downhill from here," Dejun sat up, "Taking another walk down memory lane? When am I ever going to meet this Yukhei?" 

"I'm not sure. He goes to school in Yunxi. We've always talked about visiting each other but I think the timing has just always been off." 

Dejun pouted his lips out at this, "Lame. What is that? Like a two hour drive? He couldn't make that work?"

The boy was protective over Kunhang, if anything. But Kunhang shook his head, unable to understand how Dejun had spent his entire life in China and seemed to have absolutely no sense of direction or where anything outside of his home and university were really located. 

"More like a five hour flight, fourteen hour drive, or twenty-nine hour bus ride." 

A small humming noise escaped Dejun's lips, accepting defeat as he once again took refuge by laying down on his bed. 

Kunhang thought back to the many times he and Yukhei talked about visiting each other, even over the summers when Yukhei would return to Hong Kong and Kunhang to Macau. But that never worked either. Yukhei had been on long holidays with his family the past two summers and Kunhang had work his dad would kill him if he missed. Why was it that as they were getting older, time was fleeting much quicker? It hardly seemed fair. 

And as if he knew that his name was escaping someone's lips, Kunhang's phone lit up with Yukhei's display photo. The last one they ever took together. 

Kunhang was quick to grab his phone and step out of the cramped dorm room, not wanting to subject the already exhausted Dejun to his conversation. 

"I was just talking about you." He said as he answered, no formal greetings needed between the two.

He heard the familiar, warm laughter come through the other end of the phone. Kunhang made himself comfortable against the wall, knees pressed to his chest. 

"Only good things, I hope. How was your first week? Are you rooming with Dejun again this year?" 

Kunhang loved how Yukhei's memory was a wide bank with seemingly endless storage. Ever since they were younger, he'd been able to remember even the smallest details that people would relay onto him. Kunhang's favorite foods, movies, and colors. The things he loved and the things he hated. His friends names and what they were doing, the programs they studied. 

"Yeah, we're rooming together. He actually just finished orienting some freshman, which totally knocked him out. But the first week was good! I think my classes won't totally kill me this semester but maybe that's just me and my blind optimism. What about you? I know you said you were getting a new roommate this year?" 

There was a light shuffling heard in the background, what sounded like the moving of pillows and bed sheets and Kunhang tried not to picture what Yukhei looked like. They'd shared photos and even FaceTimed from time to time, but mostly just stuck to their phone calls. Something about it just felt right.

But that never stopped Kunhang from saving the photos that Yukhei would send him. He'd grown into his features, grown to be handsome and tall and strong. Looking at his face, the way he'd be smiling in selfies with his friends, ignited a blooming feeling within Kunhang that he would swallow and bury, never to be brought up. 

Not to Yukhei. Not to Dejun. Not even to himself. 

"Yeah! His name is Yangyang and I like him a lot so far. He's really funny. And is currently staring at me," Yukhei paused for a moment, Kunhang waiting with baited breath, "He says hi." 

"Hi, Yangyang. Has he heard you talk in your sleep yet?" 

Yukhei laughed at this, "If he has, he hasn't said anything about it. But I'm sure we'll be having that conversation soon. Hey, I actually had a weird question for you?"

Kunhang shifted his body, maybe out of nerves, before clearing his throat gently, "Sure." 

"Do you still have that bracelet I made you?" 

He glanced down at his free wrist, the muddied colors still shining bright to him no matter how many times someone told him to just throw away that old thing. He smiled, always endless when he'd be talking to Yukhei.

"I still wear it." 

There was a breath that escaped Yukhei's lips, "Thank god. I still wear mine too." 

And there was that garden blooming in his chest again. Unstoppable and nearing the point of painful. He knew that Yukhei often thought about their times together often but he was starting to think that maybe he lingered too much. Maybe he thought about it more than Yukhei did. Held on to things too tightly. But the bracelet was still around Yukhei's wrist, just as his was around his own. It made him feel more comfortable in his memories. 

"I've had to retie it a couple of times but aside from that, it's still going strong. It's really amazing that the string has been able to stay together after all these years." 

Was he really talking about the string of the bracelet? Or maybe himself and Yukhei. Two strings managing to stay intertwined. 

"You doubt my craftsmanship? How dare you! I was the craft king of that camp. No one came close. I'm sure those kids nowadays tell stories around the campfire of my legacy." 

There was a ringing laughter in the background, Kunhang assuming it to be Yangyang, and he so wished he was there to see the way Yukhei most certainly pouted at him.

"Oh, I'm sure." 

The two continued their conversation for just over an hour, Kunhang's cheeks hurting from smiling so much and his back aching from the wall behind him. But it was always worth it. Yukhei sadly had said that he would be a little hard to reach these upcoming weeks, classes and assignments and his clubs would be piling up. And of course Kunhang understood, telling the other to just text him whenever he could. A simple farewell was shared between them and Kunhang stretched out his tired muscles, reentering his room to find Dejun propped up on his bed, laptop sitting neatly on his lap.

He patted the space next to him, and Kunhang couldn't help but smile. It was always wonderful how his roommate seemed to know exactly what he needed. 

A mere twenty-nine hour bus ride away, Yukhei set his phone down on his desk and cracked his neck, stiff from the long conversation.

"That was so cute." Yangyang cooed, burying his face into the pillow that he was holding on his lap.

Yukhei chuckled lightly, shaking his head, "It'll be the first of many. I'm sure it won't be so cute after a while." 

"How long have you guys been together?"

Yukhei hated that question. He heard it a few times from people after he would go on tangents about Kunhang. With his kind heart, and galaxy eyes, and warm smile, it was hard not to go on and on. 

"We're uh," Yukhei scratched at the back of his neck before standing up and busying himself with tidying up, "Not together. We've just been friends since we were little. We went to summer camp together every year for like ten years." 

Yangyang looked up, furrowing his brows at this.

"You talk like you're together. Plus, that smile of yours? I've only known you for a week but I know love. You're a goner."

"I am not a goner." He insisted, maybe more so to himself than to Yangyang. 

It was a quick thing for him. Loving Kunhang. It started to show itself on their eighth summer together. Seventeen years old, on the brink of their last summer, cramming as many activities into a day as they could. They were canoeing on the lake, the sun a distant setting sphere in front of them.

And maybe it was a little cheesy. Some might say cliche. But when Kunhang turned around to tell him about something, the portrait of his face against the deep reds and oranges and yellows of the sunset felt more like magic than reality. 

But time was unforgiving. Never slowing down for anyone. And he didn't have enough to tell Kunhang how he felt before they said their goodbyes, and traveled farther away than they ever had been to begin university.

So, now he was here. 

Memories to keep him sane, phone calls to drive him back to insanity. The deep swallowing of an "I love you" and praying that each call wouldn't be to tell Yukhei that Kunhang had met someone else. 

"Fine, fine," Yangyang waved his hand in the air a few times, "Whatever you say." 

It was settled at that, thankfully, and Yukhei finished cleaning up, left with his own thoughts once again as Yangyang went back to playing a game on his phone.But, like everything in his life, nothing really stayed the same for too long.

A knock on the door interrupted both of them and Yukhei was the first to reach it, opening it quickly. He didn't get to say hello, ask how they were, there were just two bodies that pushed past time and took up more of the already cramped space of the dorm. Sicheng delicately sat down at Yukhei's desk while Kun slapped a paper against Yukhei's chest. 

"You should do this." 

"Hello to you too," Yukhei grabbed the paper before it fell as he closed the door and skimmed over it, "What is this?" 

"It's a study abroad program. I know it's last minute but they're still accepting applicants as of right now. I'm going and Sicheng isn't coming with me." 

"Why aren't you going?" Yukhei looked over at Sicheng, who just shrugged nonchalantly. 

"I don't feel like it." 

Yangyang was focused in on their conversation now, setting his phone down and plucking his headphones off his head, "Wait, so you guys are leaving me alone with Sicheng? Come on." He groaned, falling back onto his bed dramatically. 

Sicheng glared at the boy, "You've known me for a week and you already hate me?" 

"The first time I met you, which yes was a week ago, you told me my shoes smelled bad." 

"They do," Sicheng upturned his nose, "At least Yukhei's old roommate kept his side of the room clean." 

No one was leaving anyone alone with anybody because Yukhei hadn't said yes to anything. He looked at the paper again, really absorbing the words this time. It seemed to be a program that was running at many universities, not just his own, for the chance to study in America for a semester. The deadline for applications was nearing. As in, tomorrow. And he didn't have nearly enough money saved up to cover any expenses. 

"I can't go. There's not enough time for me to save up enough money for all this." 

"It's all paid for by the university. The savings that you do have can just be used for shopping and food and whatnot. But everything else is taken care of. I know they'll accept your application right away, you're one of the top students in your year. Please," In a rare moment of childishness, Kun grabbed his sleeve and tugged on it, "Please come with me." 

It all seemed like a bit too much, too fast. He was just supposed to jet set off to America in two weeks? For an entire semester? He wasn't even sure he had his passport with him. What would his mom say? Would Yangyang remember to water his plants? Probably not. But he could always buy more, he supposed. 

"I don't know," He set the paper down, "It doesn't really seem like my type of thing."

"Oh, traveling the world and living in a different country for free isn't your type of thing?" Kun replied, a sharp sarcasm lacing each word that Yukhei had to laugh at. 

"Jesus, man. Take a breath! Just give me a second to think about it." 

Yukhei's mind quickly went to work, dividing itself into a neat list of pros and cons. Maybe getting away would be good for him. Seeing new things, experiencing life in a totally new culture, meeting new people. He did, honestly, have a hefty savings account thanks to his summer jobs that could keep him comfortable. Not to mention the overbearing need that Kun has to care for each person around him. Even if Yukhei had nothing but a pile of dirt to his name, he'd be okay so long as Kun was around.

But, despite the neat list, despite how there seemed to be many pros and almost no cons, Yukhei needed time. 

Kunhang wasn't one to make irrational decisions. Sure, he would stay up past midnight on occasion and yes, he'd torrented a few films in his day. But aside from that, he prided himself in having a level head. 

And yet.

Here he was.

White knuckling his passport and trying to ignore the bead of cold sweat that was falling down the back of his neck. Dejun was sitting next to him, tabbing pages of a large "What To Do In America" guidebook, not unlike a middle aged father taking his family on vacation. He seemed oddly calm, calmer than Kunhang, and maybe that was due in part to this being his idea. It happened quickly, really. Kunhang wasn't really given the option of saying "no." Dejun had burst into their dorm room, slapping a pamphlet for a nationwide study abroad program onto Kunhang's innocent and unsuspecting forehead. 

Kunhang remembered smiling, remembered telling Dejun that he was excited for him, what a wonderful opportunity it would be for him.

He nearly shivered at the memory of the glint in Dejun's eyes. 

Kunhang loosened the grip on his passport and took a look around, recognizing just a few faces from his own university, surprised at just how many students had shown up for this. The rendezvous point was the Bejing Capital airport, always bustling and far too noisy for Kunhang's liking. 

He considered texting Yukhei, asking him for a quick phone call before boarding. Yukhei's words would work magic, calm his nerves and remind him that this was a good idea, that he wasn't making a mistake. Maybe he'd even be a little jealous. Kunhang smiled lightly at the thought but quickly set it aside. He and Yukhei had been suffering through games of phone tag for the past week or so, never seeming to catch each other. 

"There's a lot of people here." Kunhang offered up.

Dejun glanced up from his book, eyes dancing around, "It's a large program. I think there are two separate flights for it." 

"We're staying together, right?"

"No," Dejun gave up that _look, _"I made sure you're rooming with a total stranger." 

Paired with an eye roll, Kunhang shook his head, "I was just double checking." 

"We're not sitting together on the plane, though. We were the last two student add-ons, so we lost that privilege." 

Kunhang tried to swallow his panic as he spoke, "Who am I sitting with, then?"

"How the hell should I know?" Dejun went back to his book, "I didn't get the ticketing information of everyone on the flight. They'll have movies and stuff, and you have your tablet, so just watch stuff and draw to keep yourself busy. Me, personally, I am going to put on some smooth jazz, take a fat Benedryl, and sleep." 

"Is there a difference between a fat Benedryl and a slim Benedryl?" 

"It was a joke."

"It wasn't funny." 

"It's just a thing that people say!"

"Well, I've never heard it before." 

Inhaling deeply with his eyes closed, Dejun cracked his neck once, "I'm so glad we're not sitting together." 

Kunhang decided to stop beating a dead horse and accepted his lonely plane riding fate. He could handle being without Dejun for a few short hours (fourteen hours and fifty-six minutes), after all, he'd been without the boy for years and been totally fine. 

But when the boarding began, Kunhang nearly falling over from the weight of his backpack, and Dejun took his seat in row 10, it reality began to sink in. This was his flight. His big trip to America. The real deal. And he'd be traveling next to a stranger. No one he could grip onto if there was turbulence. No one to turn to during really stupid parts of whatever movie he was watching. No one to show whatever he was drawing. 

Begrudgingly, Kunhang continued down the isle, swallowing his sadness like a pill that was stuck in his throat. He needed some water. 

Row 24. Seat A. 

At least he had the window seat. 

Kunhang made himself as comfortable as he could, satisfied with the leg room despite his backpack on the floor, and started to pick at his fingernails, staring out the window. Maybe if he just kept staring, the person who would eventually plop down next to him would just leave him be.

It wasn't that Kunhang wasn't social. He was, incredibly so. Just not in moments like this. Moments of unknown futures and a rumbling anxiety building itself a home in his stomach. He couldn't fake it now. 

But oh, how destiny was often a cruel, surprising thing. 

"Kunhang?" 

Yukhei almost thought he was dreaming.

His alarm would go off and his eyes would shoot open, Yangyang would be yelling at him to "Shut that damn thing off!" because he still had two hours to sleep before his first class. 

It was a dream he'd had before. Many times. Seeing Kunhang again. But the setting had never been on an airplane before. 

But when he looked at him, really looked, this was real. He was standing in the isle, bag in hand, with Kunhang staring up at him. 

It felt like a scene out of a movie, really. If his life had a soundtrack, "When We Were Young" by Adele would start playing in the background. 

"Yukhei?" 

His voice, like this, in person, was even sweeter than it had been over the phone. Yukhei had half a mind to dive into the seat, hug Kunhang like it was the only thing he knew how to do. But they were both trapped in a strange in between of shock and amazement. 

"Um," He took his seat as the person who was standing behind him loudly cleared their throat, signaling him to make a move, "Hi." 

Yukhei could slap himself.

He was never really good with his words.

"Hi." Kunhang whispered back. 

"This is weird, right? Like, I'm not alone in thinking this is weird?" 

God, Yukhei missed that laugh. It seemed to break whatever was making the air feel heavy as Kunhang leaned his head back, exhaling loudly. 

"Is this real? What are you doing here?!" He shouted, to which to two received glares from everyone around them for. Kunhang nodded his head apologetically before turning back to Yukhei, who couldn't wipe the smile off his face if he tried. 

"I'm doing the study abroad program. Which I'm guessing is why you're here too. How did we miss this? We talk all the time. You never said you were traveling! I could've mentally prepared myself for this." 

"You didn't say anything either! Don't put this all on me," Kunhang reached out, shoving Yukhei's shoulder, "It's not like you answer my phone calls these days, anyway." 

And just like that, everything fell into place. It was as it always had been. Playful banter sandwiched between laughter and shoving. It was like they had never been apart from each other, not even for a day. 

"Stop yelling! You're going to get us kicked off the plane." Yukhei let out, kicking his bag under the seat in front of him. He wouldn't need his laptop. Not on this flight. 

He felt a tap on his shoulder and looked up to see Kun, glaring at him.

"You cannot just leave me like that. I was worried about you! I had to go through the line by myself. And why are we not sitting together?! You didn't tell me." 

Yukhei groaned, "I'm sorry. But," He glanced at Kunhang, "It's fine. I'm sure you'll be sitting next to someone nice." 

Kun rolled his eyes at this before leaning over, speaking to Kunhang now, "Be careful with this one. I'd suggest putting your headphones on now before he starts to tell you his entire life story." 

Yukhei held in his laughter, melting from the irony. 

"Oh, trust me. That won't be necessary. I already know everything I need to know." 

"Okay," Kun stood up straight, eyes darting between the two of them, "That was weirdly cryptic. You two will get along great." 

Yukhei would save explaining to his roommate later. It was all too much for everyone to handle right now, he thought. Kun huffed himself onwards, disappearing to the end tail of the plane and leaving Yukhei with Kunhang once again. 

"That must be Kun." 

A light chuckle escaped Yukhei's lips, "How'd you guess?" 

"Stressed, worried about you from the jump, handsome." 

"He's not that handsome." 

Kunhang hummed at this, "You should properly introduce me to him later." 

Yukhei wasn't jealous, he had no reason to be. Because the tone of Kunhang's voice, the light and airiness that laced it, it was the same as it was when they were children. Teasing and spirited.

"I'm so sorry to inform you, but he has a boyfriend." 

A silence fell between the two of them, nothing that made Yukhei's skin crawl or suffocated him, but the type that made him feel like they were the only two people on the airplane. In the world. 

The captain announced that they would be taking off and Yukhei was jolted in his seat as they pulled away from the terminal, sealing his fate. 

"I missed you." He said, finally. 

Kunhang, after a few moments, reached out and danced his fingers along his bracelet, matching the one that was looped around Kunhang's own wrist, "I missed you too." 

The plane didn't even have to leave the ground for Yukhei to feel like he was flying. 

"This is unbelievable." 

"I know." 

"Do you? Do you really grasp how weird this is?"

"Yes!"

"Really," Dejun wildly gestured between Yukhei and Kunhang, "Do you?! You, my friend, I have been dying to meet you. He's always keeping me up with his long ass phone conversations with you. And now you're here?! What are the fucking chances." 

"Language!" Kun half-shouted from behind them as he was struggling to keep up with the group, Dejun rolling his eyes at this.

"What is he," He pointed back, "Your grandpa?" 

Yukhei snorted loudly, "Pretty much, yeah." 

"Kunhang and I were supposed to room together at the dorms but would you guys want to stay together? I wouldn't mind shacking up with grandpa." 

Kunhang glanced up at Yukhei. His mind was already made up but he wasn't sure if Yukhei would feel the same. Maybe it would be too much, too soon. A semester together after what felt like centuries apart. He thought back to the summer they were in the same cabin, the fourth one that they'd known each other. 

Yukhei had wrapped his lanky arms around Kunhang's body and lifted him up with joy, shouting about how excited he was. Those nights were filled with cramming into Kunhang's bottom bunk bed and reading comic books with flashlights. His ears rang with the sound of Yukhei's cracking voice as he would make different voices for each character. 

Kunhang often thought about how he would give anything to go back to those days.

And maybe this was his chance. 

"That'd be great, actually. If you're okay with it?" Yukhei looked towards Kunhang and he thought his heart would burst on the spot. 

But he put on a brave face, "Of course." 

After a long bus ride, a brief orientation from the program leaders, check in, navigating the confusing dorm building, and somehow managing to get all of their bags up four flights of stairs, Kunhang and Yukhei reached their room. 

Yukhei groaned as he flopped down on one of the beds, his body bouncing a few times with the mattress. 

"That was exhausting." 

"It shouldn't have been. Look at you! You're like a tank now." 

"Have you been checking me out?" Yukhei turned his head, wiggling his eyebrows teasingly. 

_Yes._

"No," Kunhang scoffed, "And frankly, I'm offended you'd even imply that." 

The boy stood from the bed and with a few quick steps, was standing in front of Kunhang. That heart bursting feeling returned as they stood there, Kunhang unable to predict Yukhei's next move. He had always been a wild card, after all. 

In a rush of limbs and missed opportunities and so much time passed, Kunhang was wrapped into Yukhei's arms, pressed harshly against his body. It took a moment for him to process. To swallow that yes, this was real and not simply the most elaborate dream he had ever had. 

He wasn't sure how long they held each other. It could've been eternity and Kunhang would've been happy with that. 

But a swift knocking on their door interrupted them and Yukhei took a step back, inhaling loudly, "Sorry, that needed to happen." 

"It's okay. It did." 

Yukhei reached out, ruffling Kunhang's hair with a smile before walking towards the door and opening it. 

"Hi, guys! Sorry to bother. I'm just making the rounds and introducing myself. I'm Ten, your RA while you guys are here. Is everything good in the room so far?" 

"Yeah," Yukhei answered quickly, "It's great. Quick question, what's the pet policy? Are snakes a yay or a nay?" 

Ten's face paled at this but after a quick escaped chuckle from Yukhei, he raised his eyebrows, "Ah, the class clown, I see. No snakes, I'm afraid. But here," Ten reached into his bag and pulled out a handful of sheets of colorful construction paper and a bag of markers, "You guys get to decorate nametags to tape outside the door!"

Yukhei glanced back at Kunhang, who stepped forward and took the paper, "This is the study abroad for college, right? Like, we're in the right grade?"

"Cut me some slack here," Ten sighed, "Being an RA is hard and there's like hundreds of you! Please just go along with me and have fun." 

After more back and forth with Ten and a reminder that dinner was in two hours, Kunhang found himself sitting on the floor across from Yukhei. He was watching the other with adoring eyes, he knew that. But how could he not? 

Yukhei always took arts and crafts terribly serious. 

"You just have to write your name, you know?"

A scoff was what Kunhang received, "Yeah right. I'm going to have the best name tag on this hall." 

Maybe it was the nostalgia that had been washing over him since he laid his eyes on Yukhei, maybe it was bravery, but Kunhang set his marker down and swallowed any doubts, "I really missed you." 

Yukhei looked up from his masterpiece, galaxies still dancing in his eyes. 

"I missed you too. I always did, you know. But seeing you again," He shook his head, "I don't know. It's like I realized how much I actually did. We always said fate would bring us back together." 

He was smiling. It was a joke.

But not to Kunhang.

"You said we were soulmates." 

Yukhei's smile dipped. Not in a bad way. But like the memories of that night rushed back to him. Hit him like a freight train on unsuspecting tracks, the brakes long since broken. 

"Yeah, I-" He stopped, scratching at the back of his neck, "I did." 

"Did you mean it?"

Silence. Nothing filled the air but the timed out buzzing of their overhead light. Distant voices could barely be heard from the rooms that surrounded them.

And then.

A whisper.

"Always." 

Yukhei had a favorite saying about fate. 

"What is meant to be will always find a way."

Yukhei often questioned if he'd ever see Kunhang again. Kunhang questioned if he'd ever get to tell Yukhei how he felt. 

Like a gambler rolling the dice, neither one could ever see what was ahead of them.

It turns out that semesters abroad felt a lot like summer camps. The two spending their nights on separate beds for the first week until Yukhei suggested they read some old comics on his. Kunhang's bed remained empty for the rest of their time there. 

Yukhei found a craft store when he was exploring with Kun one afternoon, Kunhang and Dejun stuck in classes.

He fakes tutoring sessions as to leave the room. Kunhang couldn't know.

When presented with his new bracelet, Kunhang blamed his watering eyes on a dust allergy. Yukhei didn't believe him. Kunhang wasn't allergic to dust. But he wished him well anyway. 

On walks around the bustling and bright streets of Los Angles, Kunhang had suggested he hold Yukhei's hand. So he wouldn't get lost. Not even Cupid himself could see the way that Yukhei began to glow when their hands interlocked. 

It was years of Yukhei swallowing the fact that he loved Kunhang.

It was only three weeks of them together again for him to say it. 

In a flash, over a stupid movie that neither of them were really paying attention to.

"I love you." He spoke.

"I love you too." 

And the time after that, the time spent together, felt a lot less like falling in love and a lot more like catching up on lost time. Disgusted looks from Kun as they would sneak a kiss. Dejun slinging his arms around the two of them as they walked, telling them they should write a book about this.

Kunhang thought he might.

Because this was the type of love that everyone deserved to know about. The type that should be immortalized. 

The weeks melded into months which morphed into packing bags and silence between them. Questions that burned the tips of their tongues but never made the leap. 

What now?

What will happen to us? 

Will we be okay? 

Questions that were answered the night before they would say goodbye.

Yukhei was looking up at the ceiling, wishing he was seeing night stars instead of concrete.

Kunhang was on his chest, relishing in the sounds of Yukhei's heartbeat like a symphony. 

"Do you remember one of our last nights at camp? We were canoeing on the lake." 

Kunhang smiled, "Of course." How could he forget? 

"I knew I loved you then," Yukhei took Kunhang's hand, kissing each of his fingers, "I knew I always would." 

Kunhang had a favorite saying about fate. 

"Fate is never fair. You are caught in a current much stronger than you are; struggle against it and you'll drown not just yourself but those who try to save you. Swim with it. and you'll survive."

They had struggled long enough. 

The only thing left to do now was swim. 

**Author's Note:**

> inspired by the LOVE OF MY LIFE, any.  
i'm so glad we're friends now. you are such a special person and i feel so lucky to know you!  
thank you also for your patience as i wrote, rewrote, rewrote again, and finally made this fic happen. you have no idea how much it means to me.
> 
> to anyone else who reads this,  
thank you!  
i tried a lot of new things in terms of my writing style with this one and i hope it paid off!
> 
> comments and kudos always appreciated 
> 
> thank you!


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